The woman from Kroger. The woman I stole him from in 2002. Thin as a broom, scarf on her head, cart holding nothing but ginger ale.
I stood at Winifred’s window, and the floor did not fall out beneath me. The dates rearranged themselves. Married three years ago. The scarf. The ginger ale. The hospital parking stub. Vanderbilt. A woman loses her hair and drinks flat soda when chemotherapy will not let anything else stay down.
I did not understand until I got home and made him tell me everything. He told me at the kitchen table, with the pork chop grease going cold.
Rosalind had returned to the county four years earlier, divorced, alone, childless, stage three. No family remained. The one person she still knew was the man she had almost married before I took him. She had not returned for him. She had returned to die somewhere familiar, with nobody.
Nathaniel found out. He could not leave her alone. He married her for the insurance—his insurance. The coverage he said he had “lost” had never been lost. He moved onto a plan that allowed him to add a spouse, then added a dying woman so her treatments would be covered.
The Tuesdays in Memphis were Vanderbilt oncology appointments. He drove her, held her hand through treatment, then came home unable to speak while I put dinner in the oven and imagined betrayal.
It is bigamy. It is illegal. It is also the most purely good thing my husband has ever done. Both truths exist, and I have stopped trying to make them fight.
Rosalind died in October. I went to the hospice room. Two wives sat beside the same man. I apologized. She was too far gone to answer, but she turned her hand over, and I held it. Nathaniel is legally untangling the marriage now. I never left. How could I leave a man for the sin of being better than me?