On a quiet Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, married for 55 years, find themselves on their porch swing, sipping lukewarm tea and watching squirrels fight over a Cheeto. Out of the blue, Edna suggests they discuss their bucket lists. Bert, 87 and perfectly content with just finding his pants each morning, raises an eyebrow. But Edna presses, and Bert surprises her with a lifelong dream: skydiving—despite nearly fainting the last time he bent down to tie his shoes.

Edna is shocked, but amused. Bert jokes that if he passes out midair, maybe he’ll land in the neighbor’s garden and finally haunt him. As laughter fills the porch, Edna admits she has a secret mission of her own. With a familiar mischievous twinkle, she confesses to sabotaging Bert’s recliner with a spatula and rigging the TV remote to play only Hallmark Channel—vengeance for spilled grape soda from 1989.

Bert, stunned but composed, decides to share his own decades-long ruse. He reveals his so-called “fishing trips” were actually bowling competitions—he even has four hidden trophies behind the water heater. Edna’s mouth drops. The trophy she threw out in 1965? A decoy.

They erupt in laughter, swap confessions, and start checking things off their bucket lists. Edna gets Bert a new recliner, he goes skydiving, and the couple starts bowling together every Saturday—not for fun, but to keep tabs on each other.

Years later, they pass peacefully and arrive at the Pearly Gates, still in great shape thanks to Edna’s healthy habits. St. Peter introduces them to paradise—free food, no cholesterol, and eternal joy. Bert, ever the skeptic, finally loses it and blames Edna: “If it weren’t for your bran muffins, we could’ve been here ten years ago!” Heaven echoes with laughter.