Funerals are emotional events filled with grief and reflection. In these delicate moments, the words we choose carry immense weight. Even with good intentions, certain phrases can unintentionally come across as dismissive, offensive, or hurtful to those who are mourning. It’s important to speak with empathy and care, especially when offering condolences to grieving friends, family, or colleagues.

One phrase to avoid is “They’re in a better place now.” While often said to offer spiritual comfort, it can feel dismissive to someone still reeling from the loss. It may sound like you’re minimizing their grief or encouraging them to move on too soon. A better alternative: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here if you need anything.” These words are simple, honest, and comforting.

Another common misstep is saying “At least they lived a long life.” Though it may be true, it doesn’t ease the pain of loss. Grief isn’t measured by years lived. Instead, say something like “They touched so many lives. I know they meant a lot to you.” This validates their sadness while honoring the person who passed.

Avoid saying “I know exactly how you feel.” Even if you’ve experienced loss, grief is personal and unique. Rather than centering yourself, say: “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.”

Lastly, steer clear of “Everything happens for a reason.” Assigning purpose to death can feel cold. A more compassionate alternative is: “This must be incredibly hard. I’m so sorry.”

Ultimately, kindness, presence, and quiet support matter most.